Day 13
We just returned from visiting with our daughter, Julian’s mother, at her place of recovery, three hours away. She is on day 13 of a 30-day program, and she was given a pass to leave the facility with us for a few hours. It was a very rewarding visit. She is embracing the recovery process and enjoying the people and environment enough to stick with what must be a very difficult process. She recognizes and accepts now that 30 days is only the beginning, not the end-all cure. She shared with us several writings and “homework” assignments that she has been working on. I was amazed to see the words on the pages and I told her as much. They reflected a deeper thought process and a better understanding of what she is going through than I knew existed. Most astounding was the honesty! Addicts are among the greatest deceivers. Honesty has been sadly missing for a long time. The letters that touched me the most were those she wrote about “force,” about the ways in which she has forced her addiction into our lives and her son’s life. Up to now, she has persisted in the argument that we have taken her son from her and didn’t want her to be a mom. Addicts are adept at playing the victim. I suppose her belief was easier to live with than the truth, that she had abandoned her son in favor of drugs. Her view gave her freedom and permission to carry on with the “party.” The insights in her writings were a vast improvement over where we were a month ago! And the best part was seeing the joy that she is experiencing for the first time in a long while.
The core of the treatment is a 12-step program modeled after AA. As such, there were worksheets designed to facilitate dissection, introspection and ultimately understanding/belief in the 12 steps. She still has a ways to go, but there is progress. Reading a worksheet for Step 2 (which is something along the lines of “Come to believe that a Power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity”), she was asked to define such a “Power.” I think the purpose of this was really to allow people to define God on their own terms, but she wrote down “Julian” and “my parents” in her first draft of the worksheet. I laughed…poor Julian has the weight of the universe on his shoulders (actually, this isn’t funny when you think about the number of children of addicts who are forced to give up their childhood in order to “parent” their parents because they truly are more powerful than their parents…that makes me cry). Nevertheless, she managed to work her way through Step 2 and ultimately came to understand that the right answer was not Julian or her parents or even her boyfriend. When asked how or why they came to believe in a “higher Power,” she answered, “because God IS the higher Power.” Duh. ;-) So now, maybe Step 3 (“Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to that Power”), while clearly fundamental to everything else, will be easy.
We left encouraged. That is all we can ask for now.
Isn't she beautiful?
Happy times Labels: Baby Spartacus, Family and friends
Rest in Peace, Michael
I don't mind sharing the limelight with Michael Jackson on my birthday. Really, I don't. I never liked being the center of attention anyway. It's funny to hear the various channels announcing the changes in tv coverage resulting from the preemption...things like Days of Our Lives are being moved around so as not to be missed. Never mind that REAL news has been preempted for the last two weeks in order to cover the MJ story. Not that I'm bitter. It's just an observation. And it's not preempting my birthday because I could turn it off any minute and walk out. Really, I could. I could stop watching if I wanted to.
Hi, my name is Gwynne, and I'm a closet Michael Jackson fan.
Actually, as I sit here watching the memorial, I am truly moved for the first time since his death. Maybe it took nearly two weeks of non-stop coverage for the feelings to finally sink in, or maybe it's the moving tributes offered by some at this service, but I have finally been beaten into submission. Okay, I agree, Michael was a pretty good performer. But honestly, I believe that he is in a better place, at long last, at peace. His work here on earth was done. I believe the 50-concert world tour might have killed him
and his legacy. In his own words (if we are to believe half of what we hear), he was "done" and "better off dead." I don't say that out of hatred, or anger, or meanness. I truly believe that he is in a better place now. His story is at once magical and tragic. It's been a troubling story to watch play out, but one so fascinating that few could look away.
If I disregard the last quarter of his life, I have to admit that I was drawn in possibly as much as anyone who grew up with him. Well, almost. I remember exactly when and where I purchased my first Michael Jackson album, Off The Wall, and feeling like it gave me a certain "street cred" at the time. It was one of the earliest albums I purchased (just to give an idea of how young I really am...either that, or how late I was to the party). I remember owning several 45s by the Jackson Five in my extensive (roughly 10 records) collection. Who can resist those early performances, fronted by Michael as a young boy with an amazing voice, a cute smile and some pretty amazing dance moves even then.
I like that the memorial does in fact feel like a funeral service (even a "revival" as the media seems want to call it), a celebration of family and faith, and not "just" a Michael Jackson concert (anyone else wonder if the casket would be levitated before this show was over?) although there have been some nice tributes sung by the likes of Mariah Carey and Stevie Wonder. But really, after the powerful words of others, we could have done without Brooke Shield's trite narrative of her relationship w/ Michael at the age of 13. Some things are better off left unsaid.
The most poignant words were those spoken by his daughter, Paris, at her first public appearance ever, "Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine and I just want to say I love him so much." I pray for his children, who are the only real victims in this sad story.
Rest in Peace, Michael Jackson.
Labels: Family and friends, In Memorium, Music
Family Secrets
While digging in the archives for photos for tomorrow's 1-year birthday post (I can't believe
it's been a year already!), I dug deep in search of baby pictures of both his mom and grandpa, to show the similarities, and just for fun. In so doing, I stumbled upon this gem...my husband serving
Jack LaLanne and his lovely wife:
When he first came to America, back in the olden days, he worked for Hollywood's rich and famous in Beverly Hills, as domestic help. There aren't many photos to document the exerience, and to this day, he refuses to wear a tie if he can avoid it. But check out Jack's suit! And if my husband finds out I've posted this picture, I'm dead meat. Priceless.
Labels: Family and friends
The Evacuation
The other night, we arrived home from dinner at a friend's home, to find a large fire burning in the pasture behind our home, not on our property, but maybe a few acres away. The winds were blowing hard and the grass was dry. If it was a contolled burn, it appeared to have burned out of control, so we immediately called 911. Then, we panicked a bit. What to do?! Should we evacuate? What should we take? The first thing I said to my husband was "get the dogs." Ouch, that hurt. Then I said, "you take the SUV and I'll take my Bug." To which he responded, "To Hell with your Bug, I'm taking my van with all my tools in it...that's my livlihood!" Oh, yeah, true that. We already had Julian in the SUV, so I'd have to leave my Bug behind. Ouch, that hurt too. Then, we started gathering things from the house, leaving Julian buckled in and ready to roll.
Here is the comprehensive list of what we loaded into the SUV by the time fire crews had arrived and figured out how to get
to the fire (which was landlocked, with no roads leading to it) with tanker trucks:
Smokey and
Cocoa's ashes,
Smokey and Cocoa's photo collages that we had spent hours making,
The framed newspaper photo of my husband and Smokey at work,
The watercolor painting by my uncle, of the newspaper photo of my husband and Smokey at work:
Another watercolor painting by my mom, of the place my husband and I were married,
My computer, with all of our recent family photos on it (and my livlihood),
A small fireproof box that contains our important documents (these should really be in a safe deposit box and this reminds me to put that on my To Do list),
Our jewelry boxes, and
A rock that I bought for my husband at the Jade Festival
Almost forgot...all of the client files I had at home, loaded into my briefcase, and of course,
My purse was already in the car (this contains everything needed to reconstruct our lives)
Ultimately, the fire was put out without incident. Our daughter, Julian's mother, was at work and missed all the excitement.
So, what would you take?
Labels: Family and friends, Near-Death Experiences
Random Saturday
Here comes the flood (sung to the tune of Here Comes the Sun, by the Beatles).
While the waters are rising, I don't think we are in its path. Surprising, I know. I do feel badly though, for those who are. My dad was a victim of the 1993 flood that swept through his office, destroying many architectural drawings, renderings, books and office equipment. This flood promises to rise even higher. I sure hope measures have been taken since that time to mitigate the ravaging effects of rising water along the banks of the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers this time around.
I picked up the 19-year-old daughter Thursday night. She was released from captivity earlier than expected. I think it was a combination of overcrowding, good behavior and fear of the liability associated with holding a pregant woman (given that it's a private facility, I'm sure liability is a bigger concern than at the government run institutions). She says she experienced Braxton-Hicks contractions while she was there. That episode probably helped get an early release. She has another court date on June 20th, for another ticket in another jurisdiction (supposedly this is her last...we should hope!). Now, she claims to know the importance of showing up and paying the fines, so at least she seems a little wiser for the experience. Now if she can just avoid getting in trouble in the first place. Motherhood has definitely mellowed her out (maybe even matured her a bit). There is hope.
I've made reservations for a solo-vacation* next week. I'll be going to Seattle to stay on our boat, making provisions and probably tending to some follow up mechanical work that still needs doing. I may also do a little job searching while out there, depending on how strong is my motivation to do so. Right now, that motivation is very low. I have an opportunity to outsource tax returns for an old partner of mine, the one who originally hired me here in Kansas City back in the early 90's. He knows of our plan to live on our boat and is very flexible. He's busy now with more entrepreneurial endeavors and needs help with the compliance aspects (i.e. preparing tax returns). It would be like outsourcing to India, only I'd be in Seattle. He's in Colorado, but everything can be done electronically. This seems like a good fit and I'd be on my own schedule, working from the boat, with essentially just one client that doesn't require any face time and already has a working knowledge of tax law. This sounds very appealing to me right now. The pay would be better than Starbucks, and the schedule more flexible, but I'd have to pay for my own health insurance. Right now, this is Plan A.
Plan B is getting a no-brain job at a coffee shop or a grocery store and making just enough money to pay for the boat slip and a few groceries while helping my husband with his painting business. Or maybe just helping him with his business if that saves or makes more money than I could make by working at Starbucks.
Plan C is taking a year sabbatical and shoving off from the dock, living on rice and beans for a year at sea. This would be Plan A if not for the fact that we still have teenagers (and now a grandchild) and dogs to care for.
Meanwhile, I've still not given a firm date of departure from my existing job. While I have put my bosses on alert and told them that I should not be given any new assignments, existing client demands and fear of leaving in a time of economic recession hold me back. Not to mention, the personal uncertainties involving our teenagers. It just doesn't seem like a good time to add more uncertainty to the mix. So far, I've blown through 2 "last days" (April 15th and June 15th). Now, I've told them August 15th. Maybe.
As I type this, I am watching the shuttle Discovery touch town after a 5.7 million mile journey into space, on the NASA channel. Wow! That was impressive.
On the list of things to do today:
Review a tax return that was promised by June 15th
Go to the grocery store, for Father's Day brunch
Go shopping for Father's Day gift
Spend time with the older daughter
Run on the treadmill
Rest
Happy Father's Day!
* My husband cannot go with me because of his work and fear of leaving our house and dogs in the care of our daughter, my daughter cannot go because she doesn't feel like flying (not to mention her upcoming court appearance), my mom cannot join me (she lives in CA) because of her volunteer commitments, my dad cannot go because he has a woodturning symposium to attend, my friend cannot join me because I decided I'd rather travel alone than be accompanied by someone whose first questions were: "what are you packing?" (I don't know...I'll let you know when we get there)"do you mind if I have to check my bags(S!)?" (after telling her that I travel light and carry on my bag, singular, to save time and headaches...yes, I do) "are you taking any nice outfits?" (no...I plan to live in my sweat pants, shorts and flip flops for a week...I guess this answers the first question, doesn't it)"what about a blow dryer?" (what about it?)I know that if she comes with, I will not do anything productive the entire time. She is what you would call very high maintenance and I am just the opposite. While she's owned a sailboat before, she is not exactly handy. I'm afraid that she might not be happy living on a boat for a weak, especially if we can't figure out how to use the showers and toilets. We might even sink the boat. So, I think I really just need to get away by myself for some quiet time, and maybe a little bit of productivity if I'm so inclined.Labels: Family and friends
A Great Day!
It's been awhile since I've enjoyed such a nice day. Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day (79 degrees, sunny, light breeze). While the morning started out with a lot of teen angst drama, it turned into a very lovely day for me and the younger daughter (I've concluded that it is best to spend time with them one on one...man-to-man defense if you will). The father figure left town last Thursday (to Seattle, to meet once again with the engine surveyor) leaving the three of us to our own devices. While killing each other was an option, the younger one and I quickly agreed that it was a perfect day for the zoo (and this drove the older one to seek out her friends instead...she had no interest whatsoever in walking about Australia and Africa). We hadn't been to the zoo in years, but it seemed like a good idea.
How many storks does it take to make a baby?
Can you smell me now?
According to my daughter, kangaroos always appear to be stoned. I asked her why? She said, "because they're always eating, their eyes are all squinty...and...well, just look at them!"
Huh? Wha?
Duuude...
Hey man, I can't get up...can you pass me that joint?(And no, he's not dead...I stuck around long enough to watch him scratch his belly)
After the zoo, we went to the Plaza for an early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory...salads for dinner, saving room for a slice of key lime cheesecake (the fact that we both heartily agreed as to the choice of cheesecake was a miracle in itself). Even with the salads, we had leftovers. If you've ever ordered the cobb salad, you'll know that it is roughly the size of a volcano. Then, to Barnes and Noble for some book perusal and a few books. Then to the movies. We went to see the new Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian...highly recommended (the best movie I've seen since No Country for Old Men)!
All in all, I count the day a success in the teen relations department and it was a nice relaxing way to spend the day.
Labels: Family and friends, The Animals
What's In The Bag?
I just love the old family photos (thanks, Dad! Dad has been working hard scanning all of these precious memories into bits and bytes so we shall never forget). Here's another from the archives, circa 1977, near the sunset on the Age of Aquarius and the dawning of the Age of Saturday Night Fever. I was really struggling here to fit in, you see...
California Bound (At The Airport)
And my brother. Poor guy. He's since grown to be nearly a foot taller than me, but you can see here why it was easy for me to pick on him. Not that I did. But to hear him tell it, I was a regular bully. I look the part, don't I? I have sewing notions in the So-Fro Fabrics bag. How many bullies carry around sewing notions? Seriously. When my grandmother died (about this same time), we went through the house with the auctioneer who asked if there was anything in the house we wanted before they sold everything. After being told "no, that's going in the auction" one too many times, I decided on a big bag of sewing notions (rick-rack, bias tape and such). Score!
The really depressing part about old family photos though is looking back and seeing that I actually had a collarbone at one point (which I broke, by falling out of bed, but that's a different post) . People used to tell me that once I quit swimming and running and kept eating the donuts, I would no longer be so skinny. I didn't listen. *sigh*
Labels: Family and friends, Planes Trains and Automobiles
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Today is the day that my dad was born and we will celebrate his birth this evening with a small family dinner and dessert (I sure hope there will be dessert...I may bake a cake, just to be sure).
For his birthday, I am really excited about giving him
this. The original photo had significance because it was taken on a special trip my dad took last Fall to the Gallatin River in Montana, where they filmed A River Runs Through It. I also loved the composition of the photo and thought it would be perfect for a painting. After seeing a similar painting of a fly fisherman on
Don's site, I inquired if it was still available. When he said it had been sold, I asked if he would consider doing a painting on commission and sent him the photo. I know it is difficult to do commission work because the artist never quite knows what the "patron" expects. My mom is a painter and frets every time she is asked to do a commission piece. But Don willingly took it on and the end result far exceeded my expectations! I think Dad is going to love it. He too is an artist (an architect and wood turner), so I know he will appreciate it.
Labels: Art, Family and friends
Carne Asada and The Fiancé
The "kids" finally arrived last night, ready to prepare us a wonderful dinner...they arrived carrying 15 pounds of thinly sliced and marinaded beef and 8 dozen tortillas, flour and corn. 15 pounds of beef (no bones)! Seriously. Always up for a party (not), I started in with the questions. "Um," I asked, "how many people are coming over?" "Just us," said our daughter, noting that there were 5 of us since the fiance's cousin decided to join them on this outing to meet the future in-laws (for reasons unclear to us). "Oh, so we'll have to ration then...just 3 pounds of meat and 19 tortillas a piece, what a shame...maybe I can fill up on mixed nuts."
Anyway, since the meat was already sliced and marinaded, it didn't take as long as we expected, and it was super tasty. Here's the fiancé putting the last batch on the grill (it's too bad it was too cold outside to fire up the real grill, with wood coals, because that would have been especially delicious). We enjoyed the finished product with 2 kinds of tortillas and 3 kinds of salsa (hot, hotter and hottest). And then we finished it off with a nice pecan pie. Mmmm. Delicious!
The Fiancé (nice Stetson!)
The EngagedHere is what we now know about the engagement that we did not know before yesterday...
They are "planning" to get married on Valentine's Day (less than a month away) and have not yet reserved the church (Me: "Are you planning to get married in a church or at the courthouse?" Daughter: "At a church. At your church. I'm not getting married in a courthouse!" Me: "Oh? Have you talked to anyone at the church yet?" Her: "No" *exasperated sigh*). When asked if they had their marriage license yet, she acted like that was the first she'd heard of such a thing (Her: "Who has to do that?" Me: "Well, you do, honey." Her: "Both of us?!" Me: "Yes. Maybe you should pick up a bridal magazine or something") And so the conversation went. No dress, no flowers, no music, no cake, no reception hall, no food, no ring for the groom (apparently, her ring has been purchased and is being sized...girl knows what's important, I guess). Granted, all of this stuff can be bought on a moment's notice if you're not too picky, so I guess there's an outside chance that a wedding will take place on Valentine's Day, but I have my doubts. It sounded as if they were in love with the idea of a wedding on Valentine's Day, but hadn't actually thought through any of the details yet. I hated to ask (not that this stopped me) the important questions, like, do you really love this guy and think he's the one you are meant to spend the rest of your life with???
Nevertheless, we could tell that they are very much in love and he seemed like a very nice and loving and supportive man. He seemed serious about wanting to take care of her and provide for her. Of all the boyfriends she has had, we both agreed that he was one of the few we actually liked (he's one of the few that doesn't dress like a gangster, which might have a lot to do with our willingness to be open minded about the prospect of giving her away). But still...she's only 19 (or will be very shortly). She's barely an adult and not yet finished with her education. So we have some serious concerns, but then it's really not in our hands, I guess. We are trusting God to guide them.
Labels: Family and friends, Parenting
Serenity
A River Runs Through It
Who says there is no Heaven on earth? I think this comes pretty darned close...Dad fishing the Gallatin River in Montana, near Bozeman, the river where the movie was filmed. Beautiful. This is all the proof of God's existence that I need.
Labels: Family and friends
Happy Birthday, Marcia!
Okay, so it's passed now. And I've been slow at getting around to posting anything about it, but this was the scene at last weekend's surprise birthday party for my step-mother. A good time was had by all. Only this time, it was our youngest daughter, the extrovert, who retreated to an upstairs bedroom for a brief respite.
Labels: Family and friends
Moses and the Jehovah's Witnesses
Okay, I'm back. The Nails are gone now. Well, not entirely. I still have Nails. But they are much, much shorter and slightly rounded (as opposed to the more trendy "square"), for a more natural look (and feel!). So I'm no longer disabled and can finally type again. Oh, and
Jen? This time I got the gel and I do like them!
Anyway, I've been having some very vivid and sometimes disturbing dreams lately, the most recent one has been made into a movie if I'm not mistaken...it's called The Wedding Crashers. Only in my dream, it took on a little darker twist. So, I was at this very large party (because you know
I love parties) and a rather morose looking man with a bruised black eye and slightly rumpled suit shows up at the door nearest where I am standing and rings the bell. The party is in full uproar mode (tells you why I'm standing near the door in the first place) and someone opens the door to let him in but doesn't ask him his name or anything. I was immediately suspicious (the guy was wearing a gun in a shoulder holster under his suit jacket...did I leave out a critical plot detail?) so I took it upon myself to ask him who he was here to see. He said he was looking for Moses. Afraid that if I just left him alone to infiltrate the group, we'd all be dead by morning, I led him through the group in search of Moses. But rather than beginning the search in the room I was in, I told him to come with me and maybe we would find Moses in the next room. When I opened the door to the next room and called out, "Has anyone in here seen Moses?" hundreds of U.S. Marshals (holding a convention?), armed and in uniform, stood up and drew their weapons to greet our new visitor...who immediately sat down and put his hands in the air. Heh, I think I've watched one too many episodes of Dog, the Bounty Hunter or something.
That dream though, was not as disturbing as the one in which my husband had to shoot one of our dogs in the head to put him out of his "misery" (the source of misery didn't present itself in my dream). That image continues to haunt me a week later and I hug poor Cocoa every chance I get. Sheesh, our brains can play weird games with us.
Or it could be the pituitary gland working overtime. I've been on a forced thyroid meltdown, thanks to my doctor who wouldn't refill my prescription without coming in for bloodwork (even though I had bloodwork done just a few months ago and normally, this is a once a year thing because I've been on
the same dosage of levothyroxin since I was 20 years old!) I couldn't get into the lab until this week because of work committments during lab hours (oh, and you have to have an appointment even just for lab work). So I went without for about 10 days and now the doctor sounds surprised that my thyroid numbers "are terrible." No kidding? Did I not ask for a refill two weeks ago, just enough to give me time to get into the lab for tests? Sheesh, is this a requirement of all doctors now, to treat all patients like 5-year-olds? Like I'm not interested in my own health and won't come in unless you withhold my medicine? And the thing with a weak (but not non-existent) thyroid is that the pituitary will work overtime to keep the thyroid going so that symptoms don't quickly present themselves, which is why I went without rather than changing my work committments to get into the lab. I didn't feel bad, but I did start feeling more run down, tired and moody in the last few days. I finally got in on Monday and yesterday was finally able to pick up my prescription (the dosage has been increased now since my numbers were so bad, which means I'll be slightly hyperthyroid for a few weeks until I go back for re-testing in 8 weeks and she discovers that now my thyroid is being overreplaced...oh, bother) and as soon as I took the first pill (well, several hours and a couple Tylenol later) my headache was gone and my energy level increased, but the weird vivid dreams apparently continued, at least for one more night.
Oh, and Sunday night's festivities (per the last post) did not turn out to be quite as exhausting as I had anticipated. I did enjoy dinner with our new friends, the Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. This is a second marriage for both of them and they both have children, his are grown now (living in England) but hers are not (9 and 13). They brought her children to dinner with them and they were the most charming and well mannered kids I've been around in a long time which was sweet. I asked about their father (still a Jehovah's Witness) and their upbringing (still Jehovah's Witnesses) and could not help but wonder how they will be affected by all this. Because of the JW's "shunning doctrine," she no longer has ties with most of her family. So now the kids will ultimately be (if they haven't already been) put in a position of having to consider shunning their mother or being shunned by their father. Not good. Very sad, actually. I've never known much about the JWs except that they go to "meetings," not church, don't celebrate holidays, and they knock on our door periodically to hand out the Watchtower. But to hear this couple talk, it is more like a cult that uses heavy handed influences like the "shunning doctrine" to keep people in the group. Does anyone else know any more than this? Are they really just extremely devout Christians, or does their theology take on a life of its own, apart from the Bible?
Regardless of which particular religious affiliation these kids and their family have, I pray for their sanity in all this. If there is one thing I have learned in raising kids from a "broken" family and being raised in one myself, it is that kids need
both of their parents and parents need to 1) do a better job of picking who it is they will have kids with, and 2) do everything in your power to stay together until the kids are raised (assuming that you're not doing more harm than good by staying together). It's hard enough raising kids together in this world, but when the parents are at odds, the kids are the ones who truly suffer. /soapbox
And now, I'm off to work, fully medicated and ready to go. ;-)
Labels: Family and friends, Theology
The Classic Introvert
A while back,
Jim mentioned
an occasion of attending a friend's BBQ and mostly keeping to himself at the party which bothered him not one bit (but probably made the hostess think otherwise). While I do believe that we humans are social creatures by nature and require a social network in order to be healthy (hello blogging ;-), there is no doubt that some of us are more social than others. Jim suggested that the difference between an introvert and an extrovert was defined more by the source from which we draw our energy than by our actual behavior. I agree. To meet Jim in real life, he is nothing but a friendly, well socialized, compassionate and interesting human being, but as he pointed out, social situations suck the energy right out. While an extrovert thrives on social interaction, an introvert's source of energy is drawn from within.
All that to say I am not excited about the activities that my husband has lined up for us this evening. My husband is the classic extrovert. He makes new friends very easily. He gets on the phone every Sunday and calls all of his family in The Old Country. And he makes plans to meet up with friends and families whenever he can, like this evening.
A while back, I mentioned
our first trip to the Irish Pub where we enjoyed listening to a local Irish musician, Bob Reeder. Due to the crowded conditions in the pub and the friendly nature of the Irish, we ended up sitting at a table with two guys that my husband quickly befriended. We have since seen these guys at the pub a couple of times and went to see the Red Elvises with one of them (and his wife).
We also met an engaged couple that same first evening at the pub...he was living in England at the time (and he got up to sing a song when invited by Bob to do so, as a bridge of alliance between the Irish and the British...it was hilarious and fun to watch them singing a John Denver duo together), and she lived not far from us. Since that first meeting, we have attended their wedding (which they held at the pub)...he moved from England for the occasion. It was an odd wedding in that most people at the wedding had never met each other and there were few family members there. As the groom later filled us in, they all "knew" each other via an internet forum for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. Some had come a long way to be there for the couple, so clearly they felt close. Needless to say, my husband and I didn't have a lot in common with anyone there and frankly, I wasn't much in the mood for forging new friendships when the alternative of sitting by myself and listening to a wonderful little Irish trio presented itself. So that is what I did...I sat by myself (on the dancefloor, no less, because that is where the empty chairs were) and my husband made the rounds talking to people. Eventually, he found a woman whom he thought I would like to meet and brought her to me. I have to confess that in the end, I enjoyed talking to her (she flew all the way from Calif to be at the wedding and was originally from New Zealand...she loved travel and that is what we talked about), but my first thought and what I wanted to say to my husband when I saw him approaching with a new friend for me was "leave me alone...I'm enjoying the music and don't need someone to talk to...I'm fine...really!" I have no problem being alone. I like traveling alone. I don't mind eating at restaurants or going to movies alone. It is not a negative in my book, it is a source of renewable energy.
So tonight? We're taking the new bride and groom to dinner first and then to the pub where we will also meet the two guys (the tattoo artist and carpet salesman) and maybe their wives. Which means I have to put on my happy face and try not to act like I would rather be home alone reading a book. At least the music will be good. And truthfully, these are good people. I just need to relax.
Labels: Family and friends
Isn't she beautiful?
Happy times 
