The Shallow End

The Classic Introvert

A while back, Jim mentioned an occasion of attending a friend's BBQ and mostly keeping to himself at the party which bothered him not one bit (but probably made the hostess think otherwise). While I do believe that we humans are social creatures by nature and require a social network in order to be healthy (hello blogging ;-), there is no doubt that some of us are more social than others. Jim suggested that the difference between an introvert and an extrovert was defined more by the source from which we draw our energy than by our actual behavior. I agree. To meet Jim in real life, he is nothing but a friendly, well socialized, compassionate and interesting human being, but as he pointed out, social situations suck the energy right out. While an extrovert thrives on social interaction, an introvert's source of energy is drawn from within.

All that to say I am not excited about the activities that my husband has lined up for us this evening. My husband is the classic extrovert. He makes new friends very easily. He gets on the phone every Sunday and calls all of his family in The Old Country. And he makes plans to meet up with friends and families whenever he can, like this evening.

A while back, I mentioned our first trip to the Irish Pub where we enjoyed listening to a local Irish musician, Bob Reeder. Due to the crowded conditions in the pub and the friendly nature of the Irish, we ended up sitting at a table with two guys that my husband quickly befriended. We have since seen these guys at the pub a couple of times and went to see the Red Elvises with one of them (and his wife).

We also met an engaged couple that same first evening at the pub...he was living in England at the time (and he got up to sing a song when invited by Bob to do so, as a bridge of alliance between the Irish and the British...it was hilarious and fun to watch them singing a John Denver duo together), and she lived not far from us. Since that first meeting, we have attended their wedding (which they held at the pub)...he moved from England for the occasion. It was an odd wedding in that most people at the wedding had never met each other and there were few family members there. As the groom later filled us in, they all "knew" each other via an internet forum for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. Some had come a long way to be there for the couple, so clearly they felt close. Needless to say, my husband and I didn't have a lot in common with anyone there and frankly, I wasn't much in the mood for forging new friendships when the alternative of sitting by myself and listening to a wonderful little Irish trio presented itself. So that is what I did...I sat by myself (on the dancefloor, no less, because that is where the empty chairs were) and my husband made the rounds talking to people. Eventually, he found a woman whom he thought I would like to meet and brought her to me. I have to confess that in the end, I enjoyed talking to her (she flew all the way from Calif to be at the wedding and was originally from New Zealand...she loved travel and that is what we talked about), but my first thought and what I wanted to say to my husband when I saw him approaching with a new friend for me was "leave me alone...I'm enjoying the music and don't need someone to talk to...I'm fine...really!" I have no problem being alone. I like traveling alone. I don't mind eating at restaurants or going to movies alone. It is not a negative in my book, it is a source of renewable energy.

So tonight? We're taking the new bride and groom to dinner first and then to the pub where we will also meet the two guys (the tattoo artist and carpet salesman) and maybe their wives. Which means I have to put on my happy face and try not to act like I would rather be home alone reading a book. At least the music will be good. And truthfully, these are good people. I just need to relax.

Labels: Family and friends

posted by Gwynne @ 2:37 PM