Rest in Peace, Michael
I don't mind sharing the limelight with Michael Jackson on my birthday. Really, I don't. I never liked being the center of attention anyway. It's funny to hear the various channels announcing the changes in tv coverage resulting from the preemption...things like Days of Our Lives are being moved around so as not to be missed. Never mind that REAL news has been preempted for the last two weeks in order to cover the MJ story. Not that I'm bitter. It's just an observation. And it's not preempting my birthday because I could turn it off any minute and walk out. Really, I could. I could stop watching if I wanted to.
Hi, my name is Gwynne, and I'm a closet Michael Jackson fan.
Actually, as I sit here watching the memorial, I am truly moved for the first time since his death. Maybe it took nearly two weeks of non-stop coverage for the feelings to finally sink in, or maybe it's the moving tributes offered by some at this service, but I have finally been beaten into submission. Okay, I agree, Michael was a pretty good performer. But honestly, I believe that he is in a better place, at long last, at peace. His work here on earth was done. I believe the 50-concert world tour might have killed him
and his legacy. In his own words (if we are to believe half of what we hear), he was "done" and "better off dead." I don't say that out of hatred, or anger, or meanness. I truly believe that he is in a better place now. His story is at once magical and tragic. It's been a troubling story to watch play out, but one so fascinating that few could look away.
If I disregard the last quarter of his life, I have to admit that I was drawn in possibly as much as anyone who grew up with him. Well, almost. I remember exactly when and where I purchased my first Michael Jackson album, Off The Wall, and feeling like it gave me a certain "street cred" at the time. It was one of the earliest albums I purchased (just to give an idea of how young I really am...either that, or how late I was to the party). I remember owning several 45s by the Jackson Five in my extensive (roughly 10 records) collection. Who can resist those early performances, fronted by Michael as a young boy with an amazing voice, a cute smile and some pretty amazing dance moves even then.
I like that the memorial does in fact feel like a funeral service (even a "revival" as the media seems want to call it), a celebration of family and faith, and not "just" a Michael Jackson concert (anyone else wonder if the casket would be levitated before this show was over?) although there have been some nice tributes sung by the likes of Mariah Carey and Stevie Wonder. But really, after the powerful words of others, we could have done without Brooke Shield's trite narrative of her relationship w/ Michael at the age of 13. Some things are better off left unsaid.
The most poignant words were those spoken by his daughter, Paris, at her first public appearance ever, "Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine and I just want to say I love him so much." I pray for his children, who are the only real victims in this sad story.
Rest in Peace, Michael Jackson.
Labels: Family and friends, In Memorium, Music
All Good Dogs Go to Heaven, Right?
Smokey (April, 1994 - October 22, 2008)
Such a sad day yesterday. It was a decision we hoped we would never have to make, but it seemed that life was being prolonged beyond what was tolerable, if not for Smokey who was stoic to the end, certainly for us. It was so sad to watch him lose his dignity. He could no longer walk, see, or hear. But even to the end, he did his best to control his bowels until he just couldn't anymore. And then he lost his will to eat. He was always such a good boy. We did our best to make sure he knew that he was not a burden.
Smokey was much loved by everyone who met him, but nobody could have loved him more than his best friend, my husband. Smokey went everywhere with his best friend. To work. To church. To the East Coast. To the West Coast. And all points in between. He loved the ocean and chasing birds on the beach. He also loved playing in the snow.
We hoped one day that he might go sailing with us. But more than anything, he loved just being with his best friend. He watched over him while he worked and somehow, I always believed that if my husband was injured on the job, Smokey would have known to get help.
He died peacefully in my husband's lap, on the seat of the work truck where they spent many hours together, under the large oak trees in a beautiful pet cemetery. We will spread his ashes somewhere on the Pacific Ocean.
I can't believe he's gone. My husband has been through a lot in life, but this was absolutely the hardest thing he has ever had to do. A part of him died with Smokey yesterday.
Good-bye, my friend. You will be missed more than you could ever know. Thank you for giving us so many great years. You amazed us with your intelligence and your temperament, your unconditional love and undying loyalty. We will never know another dog like you and you taught us so much.
Rest in Peace, Smokey. We'll meet you and Cocoa at the Rainbow Bridge.
Labels: In Memorium, The Animals
On This and That
On the debates: do we really ever learn anything new about the candidates by watching them "debate" (debate is in quotes because it seems nobody ever really answers/debates the questions, choosing instead to talk from a script they have rehearsed beforehand regardless of the questions)?
On text messaging: when a client arranges a meeting with you and is sitting in your office discussing tax matters, then picks up his crackberry and asks you if he has spelled "squirrell" correctly, is it any of your business to whom or about what they are writing?
On redundancy: I love my new upright bagless self-propelled vacuum cleaner, but when I went to dump the contents of the cannister (which indicated my previous vacuum was alarmingly deficient in the job of sucking up dirt if the volume of dirt, lint, hair and birdseed now in the cannister was any indication at all), dirt and debris fell all over the kitchen floor, requiring that I reassemble the vacuum in order to suck up that which had already been sucked up once. And now, I imagine my stats will increase dramatically based on this paragraph alone.
On death and dying: the goldfish, the one that
almost died on April 15th, is dead. My daughter made me feel especially bad when she told me she bought it as a feeder fish when she was in the 5th grade (I took over care and feeding when she moved out last year). That would make the fish about 9 years old. She never had a name which surely proves that goldfish live longer when you don't name them. My husband, bless his soul, offered to cremate her...on the grill. I'm sure this would be acceptable in some parts of the world, but not in my house. We will conduct a proper memorial service and bury her in the back yard, in this heart shaped casket (it's about 8 inches wide for a little perspective):
Rest in PeaceAnd last (and least), on NASCAR: we're going to the races tomorrow. yippee.
Labels: Flora and fauna, In Memorium, NASCAR, The Absurd, The Animals
And Then There Was One
Yesterday marked the end of Cocoa's life. He was only 9 years old.
Cocoa was never the favorite, privileged one. He spent many years of his life as an Outside Dog, sleeping in the garage at night with several other dogs we owned at the time (who have all since been farmed out to good homes, except for Smokey, who
has always been the favorite, privileged one). Cocoa was a country bumpkin, not the smartest one in the bunch. We always said that if dogs wore clothes, Cocoa would wear Big Mac overalls, with the sides unbuttoned. Cocoa never went with us on road trips. Instead, while we took Smokey on trips to the East Coast and the West Coast and all points in between, Cocoa preferred to stay home to guard the fort. The car made him nervous. All he knew was the country life. Even the occasional outing to the vet was filled with quivers and heavy panting, as he faced a world he knew very little about. But he was a lovable dog, a good doctor to his brother and a good protector when he needed to be. Or at least he put on a good front. He never bit anyone, but he growled and barked if a stranger dared walk onto our property. But he liked the rural mail carrier. She always had dog treats for him. And Cocoa loved food. He was big for an Aussie, 100 pounds at one point. The doctor said he was the equivalent of a 400 pound man, but we preferred to think of him as big boned. Even on a restricted diet, he was still about 90 pounds. But they make Big Mac overalls in all sizes.
A couple years ago, when we were down to just two dogs, we cleaned him up and brought him into the house to become an Inside Dog. He quickly adapted to the spoiled life, sleeping on the bed and the couch, and making himself at home wherever he pleased. He tore up several doors and some drywall in the garage scratching to get back in if we inadvertently left him out for too long after that, making it clear that he definitely preferred this to his former life. And who can blame him?
The End happened so suddenly and yet, we somehow knew it was coming. We never really learned what was wrong with him, but he was in serious pain and struggling to hang on to life, curling up in the corners of the house, licking his stomach and legs constantly, straining to go to the bathroom but leaking urine and feces to the point where I had to put him outside all night, on what would become his last night alive...I feel so bad about that...if I'd only known, I would have made him a special place to spend his last night. Poor guy. When we took him to the vet again, for the third Friday in a row, they could only tell us (without running many more expensive tests to possibly confirm what we think we knew) that he was in a lot of pain and wasn't going to get better. I called my husband from work and asked him to talk to the doctor and make a decision about what to do. Ultimately, the decision was made to put him out of his misery rather than bring him home to an uncertain but painful future. My husband said that his eyes were gray instead of the nice golden brown you see in the picture. He had seemingly lost his will to live. It was a very tough decision, but in the end we hope it was the right one.
We'll spread his ashes on our property so he can continue to guard and protect us.
Rest in peace, Cocoa. We'll meet you at the
Rainbow Bridge.
Labels: In Memorium, The Animals
What is your dog wearing for Halloween?
All joking and sick humor aside, my brother's family had to put down their 7 year old pug last Saturday. He developed cancer and was suffering. It was an especially sad event in my neices and nephew's lives. May Bloo rest in peace. His ashes were scattered in a beautiful pet cemetery located in Parkville, MO.
Labels: In Memorium, The Animals
That Wasn't Everything
The bad news continues...
I arrived home last night to find that one of the goldfish had died. The goldfish. One that, unlike all previous goldfish that have lived approximately 1 week in our care, had surpassed all expectations and lived at least 4 years and grew to 5-6 inches long (it looked like a Koi). We never named him because we knew that would be the end of him. The other two fish were hovering around it, trying to revive him when I got home, but it was too late. We don't know what happened, but the other fish seem fine so far. My husband suggested an autopsy. Instead, I buried him (intact) in the "garden" this morning. Farewell, my speckled friend.
Labels: In Memorium
An Honorable Servant
Today was the day that my step-grandfather was buried. He was 85 years old and left behind his wonderful wife of 64 years, three daughters (one of whom is my step-mother), 9 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren, almost all of whom live close enough to be here today to celebrate his life, the "dash" if you will between his date of birth and his date of death. He was a good and faithful servant of God, his family and his country, serving 3 years in the Navy followed by a career in the Air Force.
As he said recently, we are all on the waiting list for Heaven and his name was finally called. We can all rejoice that he went in peace, knowing God and knowing that he was going to a better place, but he will be missed.
Dear Lord, bless those who mourn, with the comfort of your love that they may face each new day with hope and the certainty that nothing can destroy the good that has been given. May their memories become joyful, their days enriched with friendship,
and their lives encircled by your love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.Labels: In Memorium
A Moment of Silence
In remembrance...
May we never forget.
Labels: In Memorium
God At Work
Yesterday, I wondered how I would be used to minister to my partner who lost his daughter in the Comair plane crash. And yesterday, I was given at least one answer. When another partner who is much closer to him returned from their home, he mentioned to me that they would like to set up a private foundation in her name, to support some kind of equestrian education or competitive activities for children. Charitable tax planning is one of my specialities and so I was asked to coordinate this effort. I talked to an attorney who agreed to set up the corporation pro-bono and then I began the paperwork to get a tax ID# and apply for tax-exempt status and open up a bank account. Today, they have a private foundation set up and it is ready to receive tax-deductible memorial donations, and I feel good about being able to help in this small way.
Tonight is a community celebration at her high school (I had her age wrong...her brother is the one starting college; she was only 16 and just beginning her Jr year of high school). This will be very difficult, I'm sure, but I hope it offers light for her friends and family. The funeral arrangements have not yet been made as they continue to process and identify all of the remains. Difficult as all of this is, it is always encouraging to see our Maker at work, providing courage and strength and compassion to those who face tragedy.
Labels: In Memorium
Comair Flight 5191
I just got word that one of the partners on my team, with whom I work very closely, lost his daughter in today's
tragic plane crash in Lexington, KY. She was only 18 and just beginning her college education. I last saw her at her
grandfather's funeral (the funeral with the accordion player). She was beautiful and charming. I cannot imagine the tragic loss that her family and friends must now be experiencing. I pray that she might rest in peace and that her family, and the families of all of the other victims, might find some comfort in the midst of their grief...
Almighty God, Father of all mercies and giver of all comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with those who mourn, that casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Update: This gives me the shivers. I just learned that her mother was also scheduled to return home on the same flight but the flight was overbooked so she stayed behind to catch the next flight. They were in KY with her horse trainer to buy a horse. Her trainer was also on the plane. What a tragic story, but how much more tragic it could have been for this family. I know my partner is counting his blessings that he did not lose both his wife and daughter, however tragic the loss of his daughter. Labels: In Memorium
Funerary Grace
Today, I attended a beautiful funeral that I think topped all funerals I have been to in terms of the music quality. Thankfully, the funeral was not for someone I knew personally but for the father of one of my business partners. I enjoyed the music tremendously.
First, the service opened with the congregation singing Amazing Grace, which is simply the
most amazing hymn of all time, but then, interspersed between the invocation and scripture readings, were several duets performed by a husband and wife um, duet. They sang "In the Garden," "Old Rugged Cross" and "On Eagles' Wings." These old hymns really move the spirit. The husband sang a buttery smooth dramatic baritone and the wife sang a full bodied soprano. They made beautiful music together.
The highlight however, was the "special music" right before the closing prayer. I have never heard "How Great Thou Art" performed more eloquently. Now, I have to confess that when I saw
Don Lipovac on the program, I thought to myself, what?! I giggled a little. An "inside giggle," of course. I mean, sure, he's a great polka player. We have some of his CD's. We've listened to him perform at many a Croatian church picnic. He's been on the Lawrence Welk show! How does one measure the success of a man if not by whether or not he has performed on the Lawrence Welk show?! So, he's a good musician. But at a funeral?! Turns out, the decedent played with him at one point and followed the band around for many years. Anyway, so the time comes for Don to come out, with his huge squeeze box in tow (the kind with piano keys
and buttons). This was no toy accordion. And he started playing, before everyone could let loose the giggles
they were keeping inside because well, you know, it's kind of funny to think of someone playing a polka in the middle of a funeral service. By the end of the song, most people were in tears and I swear, he could have segued right into a polka and it would have sounded fantastic! We would have danced. And Art (the decedent) would have loved it!
Anyway, I just wanted to share that wonderful experience with someone. I hope that if ever you are faced with having to make funeral arrangements for someone you love that you might consider having Don perform at the service. ;-) Okay, maybe not Don specifically, but you get the idea. And stick with the old hymns. They just don't make 'em like they used to.
Labels: In Memorium
A Time to Remember
From our visit to the National Cemetery in Leavenworth, in memory of those who have served...
Labels: In Memorium
Prayer for a Blogger Friend
Brian and
Jennifer have just lost their dear friend, Dave, in a motorcycle accident. It is tragic. It is tough to lose a close friend, especially for those of us who claim to have only a few
true close friends. I've been in those shoes. It hurts. A lot. I'm sure they would appreciate your prayers and condolences.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.Psalm 34:18
Peace be with you both. I am so sorry about your loss. You're in my prayers.
Labels: In Memorium
Prayer Request
It is with great sadness that I make this request, but please keep
Jen and Beau and their unborn baby in your prayers.
Labels: In Memorium
