Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Did You Ever Wonder Why...

From Strangecosmos.com (I've narrowed the list down to just my favorites, and then my most favorite favorites are in bold ;-):

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R) stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

These sound like Steven Wright questions, don't they?

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6 Comments:

At 10:05 PM, May 02, 2007, Blogger Janie said...

I think you're still in the post-tax season wind-down...some of those questions are wayyyyy too serious!!

 
At 10:06 PM, May 02, 2007, Blogger Janie said...

Yup, it's time for...a concert!!! Let's go!!!

 
At 10:48 PM, May 02, 2007, Blogger Gwynne said...

Janie, I'm ready! :-)

 
At 9:17 AM, May 03, 2007, Anonymous Jim said...

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

The real question is, what happens to the person standing in front of your car, who only knows you're coming at the moment of impact.

 
At 9:55 AM, May 03, 2007, Anonymous brian said...

See, I can't do these things. I completely miss the point. Here's what sticks out at me from this list: "Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?"

...because "under a parachute" isn't a meaningful location. It should be, "Why are there flotation devices, and not parachutes, under plane seats."

See? I know what it says, and I certainly appreciate the humor. I just seem to always believe that my high school english teacher is looking over my shoulder (even as I continue to willfully split infinitives).

I need a vaction, or therapy, or something...

Jim: Google "Anatoli Bugorski" to see what happens when someone is hit by something moving at the speed of light...

Ugh. I did it again, didn't I? Someone's going to suspend my commenting license...

 
At 11:48 AM, May 04, 2007, Blogger Gwynne said...

Brian, I think you might be one of the editors I "need." ;-)

Jim, you've been hitting the Rubik's Cube again, haven't you? ;-)

 

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