Wednesday, August 23, 2006

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

You all may have seen this already, but Foo's reference to the list of ways to annoy your coworker reminded me of this, which I still think is hysterical. From the e-mail box:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point your Hair Dryer At Passing
Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask
If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once
Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For
Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With
The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever
you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems
Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't
Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling
Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!,
I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The
Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. If there were 20 ways, the post title would have been "20 Ways ..."

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At 8:50 PM, August 23, 2006, Blogger Rach said...

That list made me giggle :)

At 9:31 PM, August 23, 2006, Blogger mis_nomer said...

hahahahaha! this is funny stuff. :D i think i'll try the "for smuggling diamonds" tip. the finance department and auditors won't be too happy with me tho! Heh.

At 6:29 AM, August 24, 2006, Blogger beth said...

I love this list - and have, upon occasion, done a few of accordance with the prophecy, of course.

At 1:02 PM, August 24, 2006, Blogger Jen said...

I'm going to have to implement #3 here at the office sometime.

At 1:43 PM, August 24, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy snots i'm dying here. this is too funny

At 10:43 PM, August 24, 2006, Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Gwynne ~ These are all hilarious!!! But, by the way... I would never do ANY of them! ~ jb///

At 5:32 PM, August 25, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

Rach, I was giggling with you. It makes me giggle every time and I really want to try a few of 'em but like LZ, I would never do so. Of course, Beth has. 8-}

Mis_nomer, let me know the results. I've wanted to do the same thing, but with mixed feelings about how I might handle the backlash...e.g. should I have my resignation letter already prepared, or what?

Jen, how's that workin' for ya (to quote Dr. Phil)? ;-)

Susie, I had you in mind as I read this list, thinking, I'll bet Susie wrote this! ;-)


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