Monday, August 21, 2006

Words To Live By?

Today, all 5,000 or so employees of my company received a little book of inspiration in each of our mailboxes, celebrating "10 Years" (I thought we began in 1998, but that's just when the firm I was with sold out to my current employer). Anyway, the book is replete with hearty advice for "exciting professional and personal growth in the years ahead." It's times like these that I wonder...maybe I better stop there.

Make of this what you you have some of my "favorites:"

"If you know you want it, have it." Sounds very Osteenian, doesn't it?

"I think I can break the odds." Sounds like something said at a Gambler's Anonymous meeting

"Go and wake up your luck." Yeah, sure, good luck! ;-)

"If you're looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem." This is the story of my life. I'm still waiting for the big opportunity.

"Inspriration follows aspiration" I assume they're not talking about the taking of a foreign matter into the lungs.

And my favorite, coming to us from yours truly, Friedrich Nietzsche (the guy who said God is Dead), "He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying." So then, after I learn all that other stuff, I should be able to fly? Ah, but if only I could learn to dance. *sigh*


At 1:08 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Rach said...


At 6:37 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger beth said...

Free stuff is good - and, well, it gave you something to blog about! :) However, did you feel inspired? Little quotey things likek that tend to just make me roll my eyes - but then, I've been accused of being cynical.

At 10:09 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

I hope you could detect the cynical sarcasm in my response to the free book, because I'd hate for anyone to think that I was inspired by those particular quotes. ;-)

At 11:11 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Eric said...

Umm, why do you think you can't learn to dance?

At 11:18 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

Well, because I don't think my brain is wired that way. Really. There is a missing synapse, the one that connects the intake of verbal commands with operations of the feet. Missing. To me, dancing is like linear programming in 3D. It just doesn't compute. Hence, I will never fly. It makes me sad to have to acknowledge this, but it's true. When it comes to using the word "can't," dancing is one the few exceptions to my rule of "never say can't." I can't even do aerobics or jazzercise. ;-)

At 5:38 PM, August 22, 2006, Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Gwynne ~

For me, "INSPIRATION often causes me PERSPIRATION!"

But you CAN fly higher and faster than any bird ever could, the only problem is you have to do it in a plane!

By the way, more importantly, I think that in 1900 GOD said that; "Friedrich Nietzsche IS DEAD!"

At 5:40 PM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Badoozie said...

yes, tell friedrich, that one must first learn to poop on the potty, and then one can wear big boy underwear.

as for your companies idea of a 10 year anniversary gift, i'd think maybe a 50 cent soda would have been more refreshing.

At 5:40 PM, August 22, 2006, Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

Those are tattoo worthy...right on my left butt cheek.

still laughing at
"Go and wake up your luck." Yeah, sure, good luck! ;-)

Like 'if life gives you lemons' speech. I say, if life gives you lemons, cut them open and throw them at the bad guys hoping it gets juice in their eyes.

At 3:44 PM, August 23, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

So, what if your big problem is that you can't find a big opportunity?

Nietsche can go pound sand (I know, I know: he is sand, these days) as far as I'm concerned. I'd be happy just to be able to walk without a limp right about now!

At 6:54 PM, August 23, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

LZ, that's what I'm talking about! ;-)

Badoozer, but a $.50 cent soda would have only cost, well 50 cents, and the point they were trying to make is that we are all very important and so we were worth more like, I don't know, $.75?

Emmers, yes, a tattoo, right above the company's logo that I have tattooed right across from that. ;-)

Foo, see? There you go thinking like Escher again. Which came first, problems or opportunities? But I hope your your limp goes away very soon!


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