Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Freakin' Out

Oh, yeah. I have a blog now. Almost forgot. Here's where I can speak my mind and post whatever I feel like posting, things of global importance if I want.

Well, today, I'd like to post a warning. After lunch today, I felt I needed a sugar fix (the M&M well is dry). So I went down to the vending machine and paid $.70 for a package of Starbursts, packed full of juicy fruit flavor. Nevermind that I have nearly choked to death on these...several times. I want my Oompa-Loompas NOW, Daddy!! That's how I get when faced with the current lack of sugar. Anyway, I know this makes no difference to you. The important part is that I started right in on the pack and immediately noticed a very off, chemical-like taste. Laced with cyanide, I'm sure of it. I hadn't heard of anyone tampering with the Starbursts lately, but you never know. Easy enough to inject stuff right into the paper package. But I looked closer at the package and noticed the word "Icy." What on earth? Who would think to ruin the worlds fruitiest, juiciest candy with minty something or other??? How utterly disgusting! Please, please, please, be advised to stay away from these, the nasty Icy Starbursts! Ugh!


At 2:06 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger beth said...

Perhaps vending machines are on a rampage today. I spent $0.75 on a Hershey bar with almonds and, aside from tasting like almonds which in this case I'm ok with, it was too big. Tell me - how do you reach the sad, sad point in life where you experience too much chocolate???

I will, however, avoid the icy thingies, that sounds just icky. (Hey! Maybe it's a packaging typo, they left off a k.)

At 4:29 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger Jim said...

It's easy to have too much milk chocolate. But "too much dark chocolate" is definitely an oxymoron.

At 5:53 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

Icy!??? BLASPHEMY! Violating starburst like that. Even Wally Wonka would complain.

At 7:20 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger Eric said...

I rank Starbursts right up there with Banana Fraps. Ick.

But I agree with Jim that Beth is due for a serious intervention. Too much chocolate. That's just sad.

OTOH...Beth, I'm available to take all excess chocolate off your hands. Umm...let me rephrase that. Send your unopened, unwanted chocolate to me. ;-)

At 7:22 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

Update: I gave the rest of the pack to my neighbor (no not that neighbor, the neighbor at my office). ;-)

Beth, it's a bad day when a vending machine sized Hershey's bar offers too much chocolate, dark or not. That is impossible really. I'm very sorry. I hope life improves quickly.

Jim, there is such a thing as too much dark chocolate, but let's not discuss the side effects of that, okay? Personal experience. ;-)

Emma, I'm hoping you might write them a letter...you're very good at that! ;-)

At 7:28 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

Hey, Eric, where'd you come from? ;-)

I've just ordered a truckload of Banana flavored Icy Starbursts to be shipped to your home. Save it for a special occasion. Sadly, since I don't know where your home is, they will probably be eaten by the fire ants at the Midland post office. 8-}

At 11:11 PM, June 13, 2006, Blogger Rach said...

You could always pay me an impossibly large bribe for that address...Of course it would be no less than one...million...dollars... mwuahahaha!

At 6:49 PM, June 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that is a total debauchery and blasphemy to all starbursts everywhere. i would lodge a complaint. loudly

At 7:15 PM, June 15, 2006, Blogger Gwynne said...

Susie, between you and Emma, I'm sure something could be done to stop the madness. ;-)


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