The Shallow End

Three Things

If Blogger ever gets its act together, I have some very important things I'd like to say (I'm pre-writing this in hopes that one day, I will have my blog back).

#1) I am formally introducing the nekkid foot meme that Eric timidly proposed and Foo shunned for good reason, although his worst nightmare has not proven to be an issue for me since I posted mine a few days ago. Susie started the meme by showing off her new Teva sandals. Eric followed up with this, which, along with the more accurate retelling of the tale by reunion hostess, Becky, in the comments section, is a hilarious account of the Disastrous Flying Turtle Incident.

I tag everyone on my blogroll, including Dave Barry, to post a picture of their flip-flopped feet and since there is no "home base," you're it!

#2) On the subject of corporate excess (because bare feet and pork barrel spending go together somehow), today I was quietly eating a late lunch in the lunchroom which is provided for this purpose FREE to all employees, and reading an article in the paper about a former client. It seems that this company is now in the throes of a heated sibling rivalry over "excess spending." Like most family businesses, after the death of the patriarch, the heirs (kids) started bickering. Two of the kids run the business and two of them are not in the business but still own the other 50%. The gist was that one child sued another for the right to see the corporate records because she suspected excess spending on personal stuff. And she spent $500,000 in attorney fees to do it! This is a very successful business and let me just say that there is arguably some personal stuff paid for by every family-owned business. The stuff this guy is guilty of are a) receiving $200,000 per year in salary for being CEO (this is a multi, multi million, maybe billion dollar company, c'mon, there are CEO's out there pulling down million dollar salaries all day long), b) personal financial and tax services (this is exciting, a true luxury item), c) use of the corporate plane (this company happens to be the subject of a most unpopular recent tax court case that has resulted in a big, BIG reduction in what companies can deduct for airplane costs these days if there is any personal use at all, and the value of such personal use goes on the CEO's W-2, so he pays tax on it), and d) use of the company's training facility, in Oklahoma, for personal vacations. Okalahoma! Boy howdy! You can really live it up in Oklahoma. The accuser used to work for the CIA. She's now a retired civil servant. Need I say more? Lady, get a life! Honor thy father! STOP the bickering!!!

The punchline? I am sitting in the lunchroom, next to a table piled high with the "leftovers" from some lunchtime meeting that took place here in the building. I really wish I had my camera with me. On the large trays (easily 2 feet in diameter and there are two of them) are lots of expensive prosciutto, ham, salami, large blocks of aged blue, blue cheese (who eats this stuff straight anyway?), brie cheese, goat cheese, some other kind of special smelly cheese that I did not recognize, fresh figs and other fruit, dried fruits and nuts, roasted bell peppers, 5 kinds of olives, artichoke hearts, and a big basket of special breads to choose from. And these are just the leftovers of what looks like a feast for Kings! Now, if I indulged in a little prosciutto and goat cheese spread on some fine foccacia bread and didn't pay for it, am I in trouble? And who IS paying for this? Has my salary been impacted by these trays of decadence? I know I would not fork out the kind of bucks those trays cost for a dinner party at my house, probably not even for a wedding. Why is it here in the lunchroom? I think I'll call my attorney.

#3) I like things in threes. That is all.

Labels: Quizzes and Memes

posted by Gwynne @ 6:35 PM