Oops! Church Bulletin Bloopers
This just in, via email. You've all seen these before, right? Enjoy. :-)The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due
to a conflict.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
And so on...
posted by Gwynne @ 1:26 PM
4 Comments:
That's a great collection! Pretty funny. lgp
I never tire of these. :) I like the one "All women desiring to get pregnant, meet in the pastor's office after service."
Or something along those lines.
I especially like the "electric girdles." Now, that would be a good band name. ;-)
No no...it's the Little Mothers Meeting. If you'd like to become a Little Mother, please meet the pastor in his office. lol
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