Near Death Experiences, Part 3 (By Lake)
This will be quick. This story is distinctly lacking in heroism and knights in shining armour and is not nearly as perilous as By Ocean, but what it lacks in heroism, it makes up for in stupidity. There is no need to set the stage here except to explain why there are suddenly flesh-eating carp in this story where there once were none. The fish come at the suggestion of my readers who are crying for more excitement, more blood and guts. Okay, fine.This had all the makings of a disaster, except for flesh-eating fish:
Sailboat? Check. Inexperienced sailors? Check. Excess poundage? Check. Excess wind? Check. Sailboat manual? Check. Dirty lake? Check. Containers of food? Check.
And off we went. My dad was the captain. My dad is notorious for teaching himself new skills by buying "the" book. On this day, he decided to break in his new 17 foot catamaran by taking me and my brother, and his best friend, a good sized man, along with him. None of us had a lick o' sense, or sailing knowledge for that matter. More than once, we all found ourselves on the same side of the boat, causing it to list severely. Dad suggested I put on the harness so I could hang off the (opposite) side of the boat and do my part to help stabilize it. "Yes, Father," I said. A smart person would have jumped ship right then and there. Fun while it lasted, it didn't last long.
A swift gust of wind came along and poof! Swish, boom, bam! We were history. The bow, port side, took a sharp left and then a nose dive in the general direction of the bottom of the lake. But going under takes time. So Dad grabbed his sailing manual, because now is a good time to search the index for that critical piece of information he must have missed in all the preparations. What exactly did he look up, I wonder? S - sunk? C - capsized? D - doomed? I was still in the harness and got dumped in the water, wiring and all, still attached to the boat. A quick panic set in. The boat was going down and I was under it, experiencing the basic principles of entanglement. But just like Houdini, I wriggled free from all the lines and canvas just in time to pop out from under the boat, catch my breath, and help the others right the boat before the mast could fill with water, causing the whole kit and caboodle to disappear into the filthy lake forever.
We eventually righted the boat and paddled our way back to the dock, sails at half-mast, tails tucked between our legs.
The sailing manual sank to the bottom of the lake. Good riddance. Stupid manuals.
And the flesh-eating, bottom-dwelling, carnivorous, cantankerous carp devoured our lunch, and maybe Dad's wallet.
Next up, Part 4 (By Firing Squad)
Labels: Near-Death Experiences, Sailing
posted by Gwynne @ 1:10 AM
8 Comments:
I'm amazed that you even like water and we are only up to part 3!
So, when do people start taking a video camera along when you go near the water?
If there are friends, tides, or boats nearby, you tend to try to drown. Seems like somebody'd want to get that on tape.
Hmmm. I'm with Brian - you + water does seem to be worth taping.
The carp were a good touch.
My father-in-law apparently (this is pre-husband's birth) mast-planted his catamaran in Hawaii. Not sure how you flip something like that AND get it stuck that way so that the only option is to break it off the mast. But he managed. All in all, you guys did well. :)
Firing Squad?
I wandered over here yesterday and you're bookmarked!
If we had lived near water when I was a kid, this probably would have been me.
(I was the one that stood up in a canoe going down a river and got my lifejacket snagged on a tree - left hanging over the water (upstream) as my parents tried to get back to me.
;-)
Only if you want to enter me in the "world's funniest"...
LOL :-) You guys are great!
Rachel, as counterintuitive as it seems, I LOVE water. But I respect the power that it wields.
If there are friends, tides, or boats nearby, you tend to try to drown.
Brian, that's what I keep telling my husband who seriously wants to sell everything and go live on a sailboat. :-\
Beth, what a great story that must've been. With the waves what they are over there, I imagine it was pretty easy to "plant" the mast just about anyplace you didn't want it. ;-)
Jim, patience, man. ;-)
Ellen, Welcome! Wow, I just added you to my blogroll yesterday. Your blog is everything mine is not, which definitely makes it worth reading. ;-) I have especially enjoyed your philosophy discussions. Thanks for stopping by. And that visual of you hanging by a tree branch is still making me laugh. :-)
Eric, maybe. Someday. Famous last words, right? ;-)
I see no problem with what happened here. It's a question of perspective. I look at it this way: you experienced some REAL LEARNING.
Love it.
Post a Comment
<< Home