The Shallow End

Prayer Request

It is with great sadness that I make this request, but please keep Jen and Beau and their unborn baby in your prayers.

Labels: In Memorium

posted by Gwynne @ 7:15 PM 6 comments

Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules!

I'm starting to uncover a few things about blogging, I think. People have self-imposed rules for their blogs. And I think there's such a thing as blogging etiquette (I meant to ask my mentor, Eric, about this before getting started but failed to do so). So here are my "rules" so far, and if I have any readers left after all the bru-ha-ha that has gone on here in the first week (much to Jim's chagrin), I'd be interested in your feedback (what are your rules?). Here are mine:

1) Be nice and respect other people's opinions (I've already broken this rule, twice...my apologies to Jim and Beth ;-)
2) No pop-culture discussions about things I know nothing about (e.g. TeeVee shows, rap music, fantasy fiction*, video games, the latest fashion trends, ABBA, The Village People, etc.)
3) No political discussions unless I can back up my position with verifiable facts
4) Respond to readers' comments
5) Visit my readers' blogs and leave comments for them if I'm so moved (I won't leave pity comments, so know that if I leave a comment, it is sincere)
6) Post something at least once a day
7) Try to balance stupid posts with thoughtful posts (I've yet to begin in ernest)
8) Be real (I've very little tolerance for superficiality and I expect you don't either)
9) No whining
10) There is no #10, but please, help me add a 10th rule (the OCD is kicking in). :-)


* In the interest of full disclosure, I have never read Lord of the Rings, which for all intents and purposes makes me ineligible to blog.

posted by Gwynne @ 5:35 PM 15 comments

Friday Quiz - I'm a Dog!

It's Friday Quiz time! I'm following Beth's lead, but with a test that is much more accurate, I'm sure. This, in lieu of an actual post, until I can get some free time later.

You Are Rowlf the Dog

Mellow and serious, you enjoy time alone cultivating your talents. You're a cool dog, and you always present a relaxed vibe. A talented pianist, you can play almost anything - especially songs by Beethoven. "My bark is worse than my bite, and my piano playing beats 'em both."

I loves dogs!

posted by Gwynne @ 10:04 AM 8 comments

The Peterbilt-Driven Church

I really am busy these days. Tax season is not for sissies. It's not! But there's better stuff out there for you to read anyway. You're gonna love this! I did anyway. You don't have to. I won't relegate you to the bottom of the blogroll if you don't.

Speaking of which, for those who have expressed concern and threatened lawsuits, I am releasing Beth and Jim back out into general population today. Keep an eye on 'em though. They could still be contagious.

Purgatorio is a brilliant site that should be on every Christian's blogroll. We can't take ourselves too seriously, you know.

[via Jim, who left a pretty funny comment as well]

posted by Gwynne @ 10:09 AM 4 comments

1st Quarter Sales Are Up!

Over at The Fire Ant Gazette, that is. My brand new mouse pad just arrived today! It is emblazoned with the distinguished Fire Ant Gazette logo and you all really ought to have one of these, or any number of other items displayed in his cafe. Brian, over at his wife's nest, plans to order up plenty of these and glue them to their walls. It looks like a good first quarter for The Ant. And that's a good thing because this is what funds his infamous quizzes. :-)

posted by Gwynne @ 1:05 AM 6 comments

Could I Get An Amen?

How to know if you're listening to the wrong radio station?

When they've just played ABBA's Dancing Queen for the 2nd day in a row, on your drive in to work.

Please, Lord, no more ABBA in the mornings. In Jesus' name, Amen.

posted by Gwynne @ 10:08 AM 29 comments

Near-Dearth Experiences

Just checking if anyone is reading the post titles. ;-)

I have been overwhelmed a bit by your enthusiastic response here in my new digs. For an introvert like me, it's a bit of a shock that anyone would stop by, let alone however many of you have done so (I vowed not to count, so I won't).

I am left speechless...er, postless. But I shall overcome. It's been a long day and I need some sleep.

Thank you all for making me feel welcome in the 'sphere.

Coming up...Part 2 in the series, on Stupid Things I Have Done in My Life, or How Beau and Lyndon Saved Yet Another Life or Two.

Labels: Near-Death Experiences

posted by Gwynne @ 10:16 PM 3 comments

Shark! Shark! And Other Near-Death Experiences

It's Day 3 of the blog and already I'm suffering from writer's block. Maybe I should have remained a blogger without a blog afterall.

But Lyndon has um, "encouraged" me to share a tale that has been on my mind ever since he and I and Beau (Jen's husband) reconnected after so many years away from the swim team, of which we were all a part back in our teenage years (not soooo many years ago, really). I wasn't planning to jump into the deep end so soon, but here is the shortened, condensed version of Shark! Shark! Or "Sharks and Minnows," as Beau remembers it.

Let me start out by saying that there were no sharks harmed in the making of this story. Nor were there any live sharks involved, at all. Which is surprising really, because our little swim team lived on the beach (literally, the high school we attended was on the sand) and we did swim in the ocean on occasion, but that's the next story.

Shark! Shark! as I prefer to call it, was a game (past tense...it is no longer a game, it is an adventure that requires parents to sign waivers and disclaimer forms if their child wants to participate) whereby all the swimmers lined up on one wall and one shark positioned himself on the opposite wall. The object was for the shark to capture as many minnows as possible before they reached the other side of the pool. The capture was only valid if the minnow's head was tapped above water (this becomes important). As the shark captured minnows, the minnows were pulled from the game. The last minnow to remain "standing" (swimming) was the winner. Got it?

Being a swim team, there was a bit of competitive spirit involved. And being the oldest members of the team, the four of us (my brother makes 4, and neither did he come to the rescue, I might add...David, if you're reading this, I'll let you know when the amnesty program begins so you can come clean, like Lyndon just did ;-) were also the largest and thus, most likely to survive. And I did. Until the end.

In the end, Beau, who was the shark, grabbed hold of my ankle (because back before the rules were changed as a result of this particular episode, pushing and pulling was allowed) and kept pulling me backwards. I, bearing the nickname "Airtank" (because of my incredible lung capacity), had a reputation to uphold. I was only about 2-3 feet from the other wall and wouldn't give in (giving in would have meant rising to the surface and allowing him to tap my head, and taking a much needed breath of fresh air...bah!). Instead, I continued to struggle, reaching for the wall, gulping for air that wasn't there, and eventually, eventually I relented, pushed off the bottom of the pool, and that's the last thing I remember. Apparently, I pushed off, passed out, and sank back down to the bottom of the pool. Beau, being the reasonably intelligent man that he is, recognized that something was wrong and went down to retrieve my body.

The next thing I remember was coming to, at the edge of the pool, being held up by my arms, by the coach, and my brother's eyes were staring down at me, big as saucers. I asked if I won. At least that's what I wanted to ask. I'm not sure what I really said, but I was (and still am) disappointed that I lost that game. I hopped out of the pool as if nothing had happened and was quickly ushered out. That was the last game of Shark! Shark! that we played. Oh, we may have played a modified version after that (no touching), but it was never the same.

And that, folks, is what being competitive is all about. Fighting to the death. Yup. But we've all grown up to become reasonably respectable citizens, I think. So it must have served some purpose. I'm sure it gave God a good laugh anyway, but it was a tough lesson in pride and humility.

Labels: Near-Death Experiences

posted by Gwynne @ 8:39 PM 14 comments

What is Your Blogging Personality?

This is a test in itself (just to see if I can even post it to my blog).

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with you once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

You've been warned. ;-)

Labels: Quizzes and Memes

posted by Gwynne @ 4:28 PM 13 comments

This is Important!

Before I revved up the engine on this blog, Eric wrote a thoughtful post on the war in Iraq. I know I just said that I wasn't going to be discussing politics here, but, well, some things are just too important to ignore. So, to do my part in spreading the word, I share his words, because I agree wholeheartedly with them.

posted by Gwynne @ 2:05 PM 0 comments

On Why I Choose to Stay in the Shallow End

Tap, tap, tap. Hello? Is there anybody out there? [peeking timidly from behind the door] This is a little scary.

I only recently discovered blogging. It started when a good friend met his (now) bride who maintained a blog, and it became a compulsion not long after that. There is a lot of great writing talent out there. I have enjoyed reading a few blogs in particular and I encourage anyone who reads this to link over to their sites. My interaction with the blogging community has been full of laughs and encouragement and insight into things that really matter (and a lot of things that don't, like this, but that's not the point). :-)

So why blog? Because these people said so, that's why. That, and I've always wanted to be a travel writer. So this is the shallow end. I'll start in the shallow end and see how it goes. I don't plan to do anything fancy here, like a double gainer with three and a half twists off the cliff in the picture (although Eric did suggest this). ;-) I've had my share of near death experiences, both in the pool and the ocean, and I'm quite happy in the shallow end.

Oh, and I won't be spending a lot of time discussing politics or pop culture here, so if that's your thing, move along. It's not that I'm against those things. I'm simply not qualified. Another reason to stay in the shallow end. ;-)

I'll be drifting in and out for the next few weeks, due to some pressing tax deadlines, :-/ but please do stop in and see me once in awhile. I'll leave the light on for you.

Labels: Fellow Bloggers, Insanity, Near-Death Experiences

posted by Gwynne @ 11:08 PM 20 comments